Battle Scar

Get well

I know that you are sick today with flu and everything but to you that is just a minor sickness because you have major one to deal with.I don't know if you notice,ever since FIS even before you telling me about this problem I had actually asked some of my friends about you.Since then I started to give my care and all the help to you.Is not really much of a sympathy thingy but is also that I really like you at that time and I really wana help.I sincerely hope that your sickness can go away.No doubt by then you won't be needing me that much but seeing you healthy is all it matters.You have suffered a lot but I can't feel your pain because I'm not the one who is so much in your place.Seeing you sick and getting worst day by day hurts and worries me a lot. You are a very strong person and I admire that about you.You amazed me in many ways but I hoped that you don't have to go through all this. Sometimes I had actually hope if we knew each other way back then maybe you won't have to go through so much. More happiness can be written in your life, less regrets to be sad to be remembered.Remember I used to date a senior in my school, the one you laughed at me. Well, she used to have something similar to yours. I used to cry for her even my sister when she told me she was going to die. Then I met you. Boy was I shocked when I got to know another friend of mine having the same thing. I hope that you can lead a normal healthy life and enjoy what you used to be so passionate about. Yes, there are a few famous people in life like Nick Vujicic who was so determined and persevere in his life to keep going with a never giving up spirit.No doubt so, but I have never seen someone here right infront of me,someone close to me who amazed and touched me with whatever he is doing. I know people said about you being foolish and stuff for not getting treatment, I used to be one of them. Now, I respect the decision you make for this. I can see your determination and willingness to go through this for some certain reasons. It's really a big sacrifice.So, thank you. No matter what happens , I'll be there to support you. Little and limited may my strength be, but the spirit of supportiveness will always be there. GAMBATEH ~~~ !!!

Reflection

Stress in my course had lead me to be overly active in thinking even during sleep. Lately I have been having crazy bad nightmares. They were all so scary that when I woke up, my heart was pounding...my heart kept beating like a drum. All this lead me to wonder why can't I have a nice lovely dream which can me smile when I wake up then. I don't know if my wishes were heard but they came through this afternoon when I was having my usual afternoon nap.

It was a dream of you and me and it was all so happy that it seem so prefect and real to me.The dream was a little like how we first met. It was 2.34pm and we were on the street wandering around. Fate drew us together when we accidentally bumped into each other.I can't recall everything but since then we became really close just like how we first met. Everything started with the beginning of friendship but as time goes by we started to have feelings for each other.Somehow I don't know why, you sent me to another dimension...I think is because you wanted to change me or were you trying to seek for answer.It's too blurry now.The new dimension was like a portal to another world.There was an older man, I wasn't sure if it was you from another life but he had your personality who seem to be really patient dealing with me.I started to doubt if he was you.Things happened too fast,even before I got to find out who he was actually, I had came back from the dimension and returned back to where everything first started.I looked at my watch and it was 2.34pm. I was excited because that time meant so much to me.I wanted to meet you,so I ran all over the street searching for you.They were crowds everywhere that blocked my pathway when I was in the middle desperately searching for you.Out of the sudden, a few people came up and talk to me.It was really nuisance and frustrating.I waited while talking to the crowd,but you were nowhere to be seen.My hopes went down, head went low.A familiar voice was heard among the crowd then.I looked up and I saw the same you.I was so happy that I pushed everyone away. I came right infront of you,but I was worried that you don't recognise me because I was from another dimension.To my surprise,you smiled at me just like how you used to smile.I remembered what you said.You said what we had was true,that we really like each other.You picked me up and carry on your chest just like a toddler.I felt so secure being in your arms that I cried because I was so happy that I don't wanna leave you anymore.You then patted on my back saying,everything is okay now.You kept carrying me and went on walking.

I woke up after the dream ended.I thought it was reality because it seem so real.It had been so real.I don't know why,but tears started to shed down my cheeks instantly.By then did I realised how much you really meant to me if you were not there.Life wouldn't be the same then without you.

A new Degree , A new Level

A one year Foundation In Science course ended in a blink of an eye. Who would have thought that it would start up so slow and end up so fast. Throughout this course I had made incredible friendship , met amazing people and most of all, I got to see what the world truly looks like. Yes, you heard it..I really meant seeing the world with my own eyes.  Living in a small quiet town with nothing much to do, caging myself in my house like a bird...it just feel like I really am a small town girl knowing nothing much. I could recall how amazed I was when I first hopped into a LRT , KTM and Monorail. Oh gosh, the feeling was incredible. Undescribable feeling of being in a city, tilting my head up starring at all those humongous skyscraper. It was outstanding. In retrospect, my journey in Foundation In Science has indeed widen my scope of knowledge, in terms of education and also socialising in a group as well. I have learnt that in this course, procrastination is never an option. You must always find time or buy time if not things will be left like piles of piles of unwashed laundry waiting to rot. Secondly, stick as close as you can to those geniuses in class, who knows they might help you from getting a 99% to a 100%. Thirdly, you have to keep your head in the game.Never loose focus or have time to think about other stuff. Day dreaming and sleeping in class is just gona make you loose out in class. 

With the end of a course, here comes a new one. My degree course is going to begin next week. Am I prepared for it??? I'm not even sure of the challenges ahead of me. I mean of course I heard that it's not easy, people had gone hair-wired for this and some serious case is like suicidal case due to depression. Well, hearing is not exactly the same like experiencing right?? I get it, nothing pays off unless you put in effort to it.There's not going to be too much of play time like I used to have it..omg~~never mind,that's not that important. What I hope for for my course is that I hope I would stay focus studying and don't get strayed because I know I can easily.

Here's something I would like to say to those who had dedicated their time and love for me :
Thank you for understanding and being there for me. I may not be the best or perfect person in the world that you all hope that I would be ,but I hope I am good enough for what we have to last.I may not be a very open hearted person to all, but time will guide me to do so.

a NEW 2012

Its being a lot lately..I've started working part time in my mum's hospital..although the payment was not much but i still kinda enjoy working there at least is better than laying tables serving customers as I hated that a lot..a lot has been going on lately..thru my work there I've definately learnt a lot and meet all sorts of people,patients and many more.There's still a month more then I'll be heading to my university that will be Taylor's Lakeside Campus near Subang Jaya..I will miss here a lot especially friends and love ones..I don't know yet if i can get sue to an independant alone life outside of my small Ipoh town..but I guess everything we all have to try out..can't be tying to our parents apron strings forever.

Random

Its been long since I've updated my blog.I've actually forgotten the existence of my profile.Haha.Time does slip past fast and now the days to my SPM examination is getting closer.SPM~~the exam that takes you to your road of future,how about that huh? Is definitely not as easy as I expected it to be.You have to work hard to get the result you want.I always thought since i can score in UPSR and PMR ..SPM will be nothing to me.Here,how wrong am I.I've just finished my SPM Trial,I guess I still need to keep on studying..2 moths left till SPM..gambateh~~!!!
This Saturday will be my Ranger Guide farewell,held by the Form 4 Guides.I will be bidding farewell to my guiding movement during my school life.I've never regretted of stepping into the world of guiding and scouting.Here I would want to thank my mum who have influence me to join the guiding movement since i was in Form 1 which at first I wanted to be a St John member since she's a nurse,I thought she'll like that.Without her,I wouldn't have discovered the fun in guiding,I could never step out of my comfort zone.Thanks mum!!!I hope I wouldn't shed tears this Saturday..lol.I shall still continue my guiding life after school and try to attend as many scout and guides gathering as possible.I am looking forward to those gatherings out there.Be sure to let me know if any one of you have ever have an news on this.=)

After all this..finally a relieve comes to me.Although unsatisfied but still it's all I got and will try for the best next year..

Unhappy to see your suffering but to stop this suffer of yours my mind had gone blank and had thought of the solution that comes through my mind.I am not sure if this shall struck my mind once more..but I'll cross my fingers.Hopping for the best.Gonna bid farewell to this year 2010,gonna say bye to you.All that I could say is..let faith bring us together again.